haha oops i forgot to post the content..

religious view on shit haha oh dear...

lists of shit...shit lists!

Today im going to do my own rendition of a shit list...so im going to start with the definition of shit.

shitpast participle, past tense of shit

Verb:	vulgar. Expel feces from the body.
Noun:	vulgar. Feces.
Exclamation:	vulgar. An exclamation of disgust, anger, or annoyance

and so onto the definition of a shit list..

shit list

Noun:

vulgar. A list of those whom one dislikes or plans to harm: "he was unaware of how deeply he had plunged on her shitlist".

anyway today is my list of all the things we use shit for...lets face it...shit is like chicken! its everything and its nothing....think about the things you say over a day...how many things could you substitue for the word shit and still have it make sense? come on...think about it...there's a lot of things isnt there hahah. so i present my list of uses for the word shit!

• suck shit
• shit for brains
• full of shit
• shit storm
• shit head
• tastes like shit
• its can 'smell' like shit
• you can take a shit
• shit can be good
• it can be bad shit
• u can get shit faced
• bull shit
• it can be a shit hole
• alternatively HOLY SHIT
• shit can be used to describe ones belongings
• shit can be used to descibe your feeling... we've all said it 'fuck i feel like shit'
• you can break shit
• take a shit

buy shit....try shit on  and while we are on the topic of 'shit' ...i found this list all about shit online and it nearly made my piss  myself from laughing so hard so im going to share it with you

THE DEFINITIVE SHIT LIST

• THE GHOST SHIT
   The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit on the toilet paper, but there's no shit in the bowl.
  
• THE CLEAN SHIT
   The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit in the bowl, but there's no shit on the toilet paper.
  
• THE WET SHIT
   You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels un-wiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don't ruin them with skidmarks.
  
• THE SECOND WAVE SHIT
  
  This shit happens when you've finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to shit some more.
  
• THE BRAIN HEMORRHAGE THROUGH YOUR NOSE SHIT
  
   Also known as "Pop a Vein in your Forehead Shit." You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.
  
• THE CORN SHIT
  
   No explanation necessary.
  
• THE LINCOLN LOG SHIT
  
   The kind of shit that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.
  
• THE NOTORIOUS DRINKER SHIT
  
   The kind of shit you have the morning after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the tread mark left on the bottom of the toilet bowl after you flush.
  
• THE "GEE, I REALLY WISH I COULD SHIT" SHIT
  
   The kind where you want to shit, but even after straining your guts out, all you do is sit on the toilet, cramped and farting.
  
• THE WET CHEEKS SHIT
  
   Also known as the "Power Dump." The kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.
  
• THE LIQUID SHIT
  
   The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, burns your tender poop-chute.
  
• THE MEXICAN FOOD SHIT
  
   A class all its own.
  
• THE CROWD PLEASER
  
   A shit is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone before flushing.
  
• THE MOOD ENHANCER
  
   Occurring after a lengthy period of constipation, this shit allows you to be your old self again.
  
• THE RITUAL
  
   This shit occurs at the same time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper.
  
• THE GUINESS BOOK OF RECORDS SHIT
  
   A shit so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations.
  
• THE AFTERSHOCK SHIT
  
   This shit has an odor so powerful than anyone entering the vicinity within the next 7 hours is affected.
  
• THE "HONEYMOON'S OVER" SHIT
  
   Any shit created in the presence of another person.
  
• THE GROANER
  
   A shit so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance.
  
• THE FLOATER
  
   Characterized by its floatability, this shit has been known to resurface after many flushings.
  
• THE RANGER
  
   A shit that refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a piece of toilet paper.
  
• THE PHANTOM SHIT
  
   Appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit to putting it there.
  
• THE PEEK-A-BOO SHIT
  
   Now you see it, now you don't. This shit is playing games with you. Requires patience and muscle control.
  
• THE BOMBSHELL
  
   A shit that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either Inappropriate to shit (ie. during lovemaking or a root canal) or you are nowhere near shitting facilities.
  
• THE SNAKE CHARMER
  
   A long skinny shit which has managed to coil itself into a frightening position... Usually harmless.
  
• THE OLYMPIC SHIT
  
   Occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the Drinker's Shit.
  
• THE BACK-TO-NATURE SHIT
  
   This shit may be of any variety but is always deposited either in the woods or while hiding behind the passenger side of your car.
  
• THE PEBBLES-FROM-HEAVEN SHIT
  
   An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from God when you actually can't shit.
  
• PREMEDITATED SHIT
  
   Laxative induced. Doesn't count.
  
• SHITZOPHRENIA
  
   Fear of shitting. Can be fatal! [Editor's note: shouldn't it be "Shitzophobia"?]
  
• ENERGIZER vs. DURACELL SHIT
  
   Also known as a "Still Going" shit.
  
• THE POWER DUMP SHIT
  
   The kind that comes out so fast, you've barely got your pants down and you're done.
  
• THE LIQUID PLUMBER SHIT
  
   This shit is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor. (You should have followed the advice from the Lincoln Log shit.)
  
• THE SPINAL TAP SHIT
  
   The kind of shit that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got to be coming out sideways.
  
• THE "I THINK I'M GIVING BIRTH THROUGH MY ASSHOLE" SHIT
  
   Similar to the Lincoln Log and The Spinal Tap Shits. The shape and size of the turd resembles a tall boy beer can. Vacuous air space remains in the rectum for some time afterwards.
  
• THE PORRIDGE SHIT
  
   The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have two choices: (a) flush and keep going, or (b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.
  
• THE "I'M GOING TO CHEW MY FOOD BETTER" SHIT
  
   When the bag of Doritos you ate last night lacerates the insides of your rectum on the way out in the morning.
  
• THE "I THINK I'M TURNING INTO A BUNNY" SHIT
  
   When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.
  
• THE "WHAT THE HELL DIED IN HERE?" SHIT
  
   Also sometimes known as The Toxic Dump. Of course, you don't warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odor. Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gagging and gasping for air.
  
• THE "I JUST KNOW THERE'S A TURD STILL DANGLING THERE" SHIT
  
   You sit there patiently, waiting for the last cling-on to fall because if you wipe now, it's just going to smear all over the place.

hahaha what can i say....i have a warped sense of humour...

Bad habbits and sex in public? :O

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ferral things that people do when no one is watching....lets face it we all have bad habbits right.....RIGGGGGGGGGGGHTT...we all know it even if we choose not to admit it. we all have our quirks its what makes us unique. unfortunately some bad habbits are worse than others. Lets face it the list goes on and on...nail biting, hair twirling, collective oral idiocy (the fuckers who say all the wrong shit at all the wrong times), lip biting pen tapping ect ect the list goes on...so i thought it would be interesting to see what other bad habbits were out there....and here is a few that made me laugh..


1. this one is aimed at men (rubbing up against random women in public while they have an erection) ...now men thats not a fucking bad habbit thats a problem :/
2. Sex in public.... well as far as bad habbits go thats not a bad one ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ncs9_VEc2S0 how to have sex in public and not get caught haha
3. coming in third....silent gastrointestinal disturbance in a crowded room.....(farting) you just have to love it when someone goes all out in close proximity and you feel like you can fucking taste the thing...

anyway that brings me to this...

CONSIDER THIS: You can be shit faced, be shit out of luck or have shit for brains. With a little effort you can get your shit together, find a place for your shit or decide to shit or get off the pot. You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit and die. You can shit or go blind, have a shit fit or just shit your life away. People can be shit headed, shit brained, shit blinded, and shit over or shit on. Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola. There are lucky shits, dumb shits, crazy shits, and sweet shits. There is bullshit, and horse shit and chicken shit. You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan. You can take a shit, give a shit, or serve shit on a shingle. You can find yourself in deep shit, or be happier than a pig in shit. Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some days are just plain shitty. Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit. You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit. You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle. Sometimes you really need this shit and sometimes you don't want any shit at all. Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit. You swim in a lake of shit and come out smelling like a rose. You can be faster than shit, or slower than shit. Sometimes you'll find shit on a stick, sometimes you'll find shit everywhere, and then there are times you can't find shit at all. You can slice shit, spread shit, dunk shit or jump shit, and some people just can't cut the shit. When you stop to consider all the facts, SHIT is the basic building block of creation. This means the universe did not begin with a BIG BANG, but rather a BIG DUMP. Keep that in mind the next time you flush the toilet. And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else. hmmmmmm i like it haha..... one could even say it was written by a peice of shit?? ;) who knows... anyway ill keep it short and sweet for now because little lady is awake but tomoro ill rock your socks off ;)   caio bella.   hmmmm before i go...feel free to share your scewed experiences of sex in public....ill include a few of mine in tomoro's blog for amusement purposes ;) i have many..

Fuck me like you hate me and collective uniqueness ;)

Rarrrr............as you all know i havent done a new blog post in quite some time now....so i figured why not.................todays's as good a day as any..

so chrfistmas is coming up...i dont know about you but its cost me a fucking fortune...which is fine accept some fat red guy in a suit is going to get all my credit :/ i love that the kids beleive in santa but damn they must wonder why nan and grandad there dad and nan and poppie buy them shit but not mum....in fact they must think mums a real douch bag...while the god damn fat man gets the credit...you just gotta love it.

so whats new? hmmmmmm not much really...had my first run in with a ferral forrestfeild bitch in the parking lot at maccas. she was parked in the spot for waiting cars and wasnt waiting so i had to pull in pretty close to her to be where i needed to be...i wasnt even close to hitting her or anything like that..so she hangs out her car with another ferral bitch on the other side starts screaming at me 'ive got a baby in my car you stupid cunt' ect ect...some people must assuming im a fucking whimp....so i got out my car told her 'i have a fucking baby in my car to' so keep driving bitch...and she hits the acceleration and gets the fuck out of there....now that is classic forrestfeild....and that is why im moving back north lol i hate this hole...the park is awsome but other than that i wont miss any of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

new car....i got a new car since my last blog post.....and i fucking love it...its like...hmmm wearing a trainer bra compared to a push up bra.....its awsome i love my car...i even gave her a name...charil. dont ask me why charli but she is my beast......im far to prone to proving a point tho when a dickhead pulls up next to me at the lights....thus my car sticker 'YOU JUST GOT PASSED BY A GIRL'...... and jesus men hate that...yesterday i sat up the ass of a dick in a commodore..so he tapped the breaks...i over took him and he was pissed...put his hand up im sure he was going to flip me off until he saw i was a girl...then he sped up....a lot ;)

still getting hit on by lesbians....while its flattering....the only girl parts i have any interest in are my own ;) there is a lesbian woman that works at a petrol station i frequent...and she is always overtly over friendly...is fucking creepy.....maybe above my wings on my back i should get a new tattoo 'I LIKE COCK'.....ITS HARSH but it might get my point accross!!!

ive been feeling a bit impulsive lately...so i got my new peircing a couple of weeks ago. a 'medusa'....the annoying thing about peircings is people who dont know what one is say of nice...what the fuck is a medusa...so im going to put a breif list of definitions of basic peircings so i wont have to tell anyone again.....

eyebrow....if u dont know your an idiot
Nose...self explanatory
snake bites....the bottom of the lip which i have two
Labret...middle underneith the bottom lip
Tounge....derrrrrr
Beauty spots/ marilyn monroe...above the lip to the side..usually a small gem. i have two.
ears.....i only have 8 each ear but there are many varying styles
nipple....i want one but im a fraidy cat haha
vagina/clit...... erm your a braver fucking person than me if u go there....
prince albert.....a scary first date :P

so no more asking what is what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and no i dont have weird ones hidden anywhere ;)

so on to men.....we all know i get retarded dickheads cracking on to me all the time...my favourite is fucking indians and muslim men those who dont speak english and those who are older than my bloody dad....older is okay....but jesus! ive had a lot of dickheads crack onto me this year...but ive become quite adept at telling them politely to 'jog the fuck on'.....however...i do have a very 'hot' friend at the moment....makes things interesting dosent it.....lots of people are asking the question who the hell is he that ur interested for a change...but for now my lips are sealed ;)

thats pretty much it for me at the moment kiddies...of course there is always my birthday on monday but blah no plans lol....epic fail right? ;) im sure something will come up...maybe ill have a few drinks and we might get a very interesting new blog post..... todays was a catch up next time ill choose something firey or contraversial to chat about ;)

caio, bella.