Reilly has given me much amusement….i have to bribe that little munchkin for any kind of affections…he just dosent feel the love…gets that shit from his dads side of the family…a hug or a kiss could get u shot in that family…that or they will behave like your masturbating naked in the front window with the curtains open attracting attention…interesting euphemism I know but u get the point right…so it takes bribes…usually chips the boy loves potato chips and they ‘make him better’, if he hurts himself or just as a bribe….although he is slightly deranged calling me a turkey while I hug him…actually correction he tells me after the fact it was ‘dirty turkey’…not turkey lol….what can I say…the kids got spunk….no not that kind. Not
until he is older..
Todays interesting adventure….’the fucking mouse hunt;…anyone who has been to my house will know I have a fucking epic loungeroom..the thing is huge…I could fit the local asian community who seem to like to house share amoung there families…in my lounge serious…anyway… I have lots of couches, a giant tv unit tv, toddler bed, dvd cabinets…mass bookshelf, change table small table with a lamp and a small corner for some kids toys and a big ass rug in the room….last few nights ive been hearing weird shit coming from the toy corner…its freaked my shit out…naturally I assume mouse…now I have chosen NOT to look because…ill have to seriously abandon my shit and go just shut the door and fuck off never to return…u see when I was a kid we had a mouse infestation in one of our houses as we lived right in front of a bush..traditional traps…didn’t do it..the fuckers got EVERYWHERE..that planter box..under the wood fire grating…in my fucking toy box in my bedroom…I would stay awake at night with my blanket on my head shitting myself hearing that little fucking scratching…we did have a mouse hunt at some point..i remember one coming out and mum or dad memories a bit hazy hitting the damn thing with a shoe….. and the little shit went flying..now that is some damaging shit right there..my parents even found one in the bayonet for the light in there walking robe…sizzle……and one under a couch cushin…someone had squished that fucker like a pancake…there is some justice after all………… so im scared to the point of nearly shitting myself of the stupid things…so today I ate my lunch and I was like…IM GONNA DO THIS SHIT…I got some sneakers on…some long ass tongs bug spray no idea what the fuck I was going to do with that??? And I moved all the toys and put them in the kids bedroom….until I was about to have a coronary from fear…and moved the couch off the wall *(there is a small gap for the skirting)…..and……nothing..i have neve been so god damn relieved in all my life EVER seriously. so glad not to have to abandon all my shit and leave never to return……Am I a pussy? Perhaps…but hey I think I do ok as a single mum… I kill the spiders which I hate and the giant brown winged devil cockroaches…and also the winged devil moths….little bastards..
So I have my beautiful children of the corn this weekend…..i say this with much affection…..
there awesome kids its my nickname for them when there behaving like mini monsters…which hey there both boys its bound to happen. So this weekend jack is going fishing for the first time with my dad…there thinking maybe put him on a jetty and TIE HIM DOWN to make sure its safe for him haha…soooooo glad im not invited for this one… im thinking that he may actually freak out if he catches a fish..because hey…fish a like nemo or in a tank…or cute little goldfish… but I guess we will see..he is also trying camping for the first time in a tent in nana and granddads backyard styles to see if he likes it…a while ago they borught a big ass tent to take him camping at some point but want to test the waters….i have been informed that it also mean mummy and reilly get to stay over in the spare bedroom in case it all goes to shit in the middle of the night….wooooo….interesting weekend coming up for me lol…..but as long as the kids have fun…not much longer until they will have a wee sister to ass to the mix…..perhaps I should mainting to be like the virgin mary and the baby is immaculate conception????……but that’s a story for another day….Look out for next blog….im going with funny storied from the past..and stupid random shit…there will be sexploits involved..so if ur family…best to stay the hell away from that one…some things u really don’t need to know
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