lists of shit...shit lists!

Today im going to do my own rendition of a shit list...so im going to start with the definition of shit.

shitpast participle, past tense of shit

Verb:	vulgar. Expel feces from the body.
Noun:	vulgar. Feces.
Exclamation:	vulgar. An exclamation of disgust, anger, or annoyance

and so onto the definition of a shit list..

shit list

Noun:

vulgar. A list of those whom one dislikes or plans to harm: "he was unaware of how deeply he had plunged on her shitlist".

anyway today is my list of all the things we use shit for...lets face it...shit is like chicken! its everything and its nothing....think about the things you say over a day...how many things could you substitue for the word shit and still have it make sense? come on...think about it...there's a lot of things isnt there hahah. so i present my list of uses for the word shit!

• suck shit
• shit for brains
• full of shit
• shit storm
• shit head
• tastes like shit
• its can 'smell' like shit
• you can take a shit
• shit can be good
• it can be bad shit
• u can get shit faced
• bull shit
• it can be a shit hole
• alternatively HOLY SHIT
• shit can be used to describe ones belongings
• shit can be used to descibe your feeling... we've all said it 'fuck i feel like shit'
• you can break shit
• take a shit

buy shit....try shit on  and while we are on the topic of 'shit' ...i found this list all about shit online and it nearly made my piss  myself from laughing so hard so im going to share it with you

THE DEFINITIVE SHIT LIST

• THE GHOST SHIT
   The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit on the toilet paper, but there's no shit in the bowl.
  
• THE CLEAN SHIT
   The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit in the bowl, but there's no shit on the toilet paper.
  
• THE WET SHIT
   You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels un-wiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don't ruin them with skidmarks.
  
• THE SECOND WAVE SHIT
  
  This shit happens when you've finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to shit some more.
  
• THE BRAIN HEMORRHAGE THROUGH YOUR NOSE SHIT
  
   Also known as "Pop a Vein in your Forehead Shit." You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.
  
• THE CORN SHIT
  
   No explanation necessary.
  
• THE LINCOLN LOG SHIT
  
   The kind of shit that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.
  
• THE NOTORIOUS DRINKER SHIT
  
   The kind of shit you have the morning after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the tread mark left on the bottom of the toilet bowl after you flush.
  
• THE "GEE, I REALLY WISH I COULD SHIT" SHIT
  
   The kind where you want to shit, but even after straining your guts out, all you do is sit on the toilet, cramped and farting.
  
• THE WET CHEEKS SHIT
  
   Also known as the "Power Dump." The kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.
  
• THE LIQUID SHIT
  
   The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, burns your tender poop-chute.
  
• THE MEXICAN FOOD SHIT
  
   A class all its own.
  
• THE CROWD PLEASER
  
   A shit is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone before flushing.
  
• THE MOOD ENHANCER
  
   Occurring after a lengthy period of constipation, this shit allows you to be your old self again.
  
• THE RITUAL
  
   This shit occurs at the same time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper.
  
• THE GUINESS BOOK OF RECORDS SHIT
  
   A shit so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations.
  
• THE AFTERSHOCK SHIT
  
   This shit has an odor so powerful than anyone entering the vicinity within the next 7 hours is affected.
  
• THE "HONEYMOON'S OVER" SHIT
  
   Any shit created in the presence of another person.
  
• THE GROANER
  
   A shit so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance.
  
• THE FLOATER
  
   Characterized by its floatability, this shit has been known to resurface after many flushings.
  
• THE RANGER
  
   A shit that refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a piece of toilet paper.
  
• THE PHANTOM SHIT
  
   Appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit to putting it there.
  
• THE PEEK-A-BOO SHIT
  
   Now you see it, now you don't. This shit is playing games with you. Requires patience and muscle control.
  
• THE BOMBSHELL
  
   A shit that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either Inappropriate to shit (ie. during lovemaking or a root canal) or you are nowhere near shitting facilities.
  
• THE SNAKE CHARMER
  
   A long skinny shit which has managed to coil itself into a frightening position... Usually harmless.
  
• THE OLYMPIC SHIT
  
   Occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the Drinker's Shit.
  
• THE BACK-TO-NATURE SHIT
  
   This shit may be of any variety but is always deposited either in the woods or while hiding behind the passenger side of your car.
  
• THE PEBBLES-FROM-HEAVEN SHIT
  
   An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from God when you actually can't shit.
  
• PREMEDITATED SHIT
  
   Laxative induced. Doesn't count.
  
• SHITZOPHRENIA
  
   Fear of shitting. Can be fatal! [Editor's note: shouldn't it be "Shitzophobia"?]
  
• ENERGIZER vs. DURACELL SHIT
  
   Also known as a "Still Going" shit.
  
• THE POWER DUMP SHIT
  
   The kind that comes out so fast, you've barely got your pants down and you're done.
  
• THE LIQUID PLUMBER SHIT
  
   This shit is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor. (You should have followed the advice from the Lincoln Log shit.)
  
• THE SPINAL TAP SHIT
  
   The kind of shit that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got to be coming out sideways.
  
• THE "I THINK I'M GIVING BIRTH THROUGH MY ASSHOLE" SHIT
  
   Similar to the Lincoln Log and The Spinal Tap Shits. The shape and size of the turd resembles a tall boy beer can. Vacuous air space remains in the rectum for some time afterwards.
  
• THE PORRIDGE SHIT
  
   The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have two choices: (a) flush and keep going, or (b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.
  
• THE "I'M GOING TO CHEW MY FOOD BETTER" SHIT
  
   When the bag of Doritos you ate last night lacerates the insides of your rectum on the way out in the morning.
  
• THE "I THINK I'M TURNING INTO A BUNNY" SHIT
  
   When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.
  
• THE "WHAT THE HELL DIED IN HERE?" SHIT
  
   Also sometimes known as The Toxic Dump. Of course, you don't warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odor. Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gagging and gasping for air.
  
• THE "I JUST KNOW THERE'S A TURD STILL DANGLING THERE" SHIT
  
   You sit there patiently, waiting for the last cling-on to fall because if you wipe now, it's just going to smear all over the place.

hahaha what can i say....i have a warped sense of humour...