haha oops i forgot to post the content..

religious view on shit haha oh dear...

lists of shit...shit lists!

Today im going to do my own rendition of a shit list...so im going to start with the definition of shit.

shitpast participle, past tense of shit

Verb:	vulgar. Expel feces from the body.
Noun:	vulgar. Feces.
Exclamation:	vulgar. An exclamation of disgust, anger, or annoyance

and so onto the definition of a shit list..

shit list

Noun:

vulgar. A list of those whom one dislikes or plans to harm: "he was unaware of how deeply he had plunged on her shitlist".

anyway today is my list of all the things we use shit for...lets face it...shit is like chicken! its everything and its nothing....think about the things you say over a day...how many things could you substitue for the word shit and still have it make sense? come on...think about it...there's a lot of things isnt there hahah. so i present my list of uses for the word shit!

• suck shit
• shit for brains
• full of shit
• shit storm
• shit head
• tastes like shit
• its can 'smell' like shit
• you can take a shit
• shit can be good
• it can be bad shit
• u can get shit faced
• bull shit
• it can be a shit hole
• alternatively HOLY SHIT
• shit can be used to describe ones belongings
• shit can be used to descibe your feeling... we've all said it 'fuck i feel like shit'
• you can break shit
• take a shit

buy shit....try shit on  and while we are on the topic of 'shit' ...i found this list all about shit online and it nearly made my piss  myself from laughing so hard so im going to share it with you

THE DEFINITIVE SHIT LIST

• THE GHOST SHIT
   The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit on the toilet paper, but there's no shit in the bowl.
  
• THE CLEAN SHIT
   The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit in the bowl, but there's no shit on the toilet paper.
  
• THE WET SHIT
   You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels un-wiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don't ruin them with skidmarks.
  
• THE SECOND WAVE SHIT
  
  This shit happens when you've finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to shit some more.
  
• THE BRAIN HEMORRHAGE THROUGH YOUR NOSE SHIT
  
   Also known as "Pop a Vein in your Forehead Shit." You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.
  
• THE CORN SHIT
  
   No explanation necessary.
  
• THE LINCOLN LOG SHIT
  
   The kind of shit that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.
  
• THE NOTORIOUS DRINKER SHIT
  
   The kind of shit you have the morning after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the tread mark left on the bottom of the toilet bowl after you flush.
  
• THE "GEE, I REALLY WISH I COULD SHIT" SHIT
  
   The kind where you want to shit, but even after straining your guts out, all you do is sit on the toilet, cramped and farting.
  
• THE WET CHEEKS SHIT
  
   Also known as the "Power Dump." The kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.
  
• THE LIQUID SHIT
  
   The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, burns your tender poop-chute.
  
• THE MEXICAN FOOD SHIT
  
   A class all its own.
  
• THE CROWD PLEASER
  
   A shit is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone before flushing.
  
• THE MOOD ENHANCER
  
   Occurring after a lengthy period of constipation, this shit allows you to be your old self again.
  
• THE RITUAL
  
   This shit occurs at the same time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper.
  
• THE GUINESS BOOK OF RECORDS SHIT
  
   A shit so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations.
  
• THE AFTERSHOCK SHIT
  
   This shit has an odor so powerful than anyone entering the vicinity within the next 7 hours is affected.
  
• THE "HONEYMOON'S OVER" SHIT
  
   Any shit created in the presence of another person.
  
• THE GROANER
  
   A shit so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance.
  
• THE FLOATER
  
   Characterized by its floatability, this shit has been known to resurface after many flushings.
  
• THE RANGER
  
   A shit that refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a piece of toilet paper.
  
• THE PHANTOM SHIT
  
   Appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit to putting it there.
  
• THE PEEK-A-BOO SHIT
  
   Now you see it, now you don't. This shit is playing games with you. Requires patience and muscle control.
  
• THE BOMBSHELL
  
   A shit that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either Inappropriate to shit (ie. during lovemaking or a root canal) or you are nowhere near shitting facilities.
  
• THE SNAKE CHARMER
  
   A long skinny shit which has managed to coil itself into a frightening position... Usually harmless.
  
• THE OLYMPIC SHIT
  
   Occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the Drinker's Shit.
  
• THE BACK-TO-NATURE SHIT
  
   This shit may be of any variety but is always deposited either in the woods or while hiding behind the passenger side of your car.
  
• THE PEBBLES-FROM-HEAVEN SHIT
  
   An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from God when you actually can't shit.
  
• PREMEDITATED SHIT
  
   Laxative induced. Doesn't count.
  
• SHITZOPHRENIA
  
   Fear of shitting. Can be fatal! [Editor's note: shouldn't it be "Shitzophobia"?]
  
• ENERGIZER vs. DURACELL SHIT
  
   Also known as a "Still Going" shit.
  
• THE POWER DUMP SHIT
  
   The kind that comes out so fast, you've barely got your pants down and you're done.
  
• THE LIQUID PLUMBER SHIT
  
   This shit is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor. (You should have followed the advice from the Lincoln Log shit.)
  
• THE SPINAL TAP SHIT
  
   The kind of shit that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got to be coming out sideways.
  
• THE "I THINK I'M GIVING BIRTH THROUGH MY ASSHOLE" SHIT
  
   Similar to the Lincoln Log and The Spinal Tap Shits. The shape and size of the turd resembles a tall boy beer can. Vacuous air space remains in the rectum for some time afterwards.
  
• THE PORRIDGE SHIT
  
   The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have two choices: (a) flush and keep going, or (b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.
  
• THE "I'M GOING TO CHEW MY FOOD BETTER" SHIT
  
   When the bag of Doritos you ate last night lacerates the insides of your rectum on the way out in the morning.
  
• THE "I THINK I'M TURNING INTO A BUNNY" SHIT
  
   When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.
  
• THE "WHAT THE HELL DIED IN HERE?" SHIT
  
   Also sometimes known as The Toxic Dump. Of course, you don't warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odor. Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gagging and gasping for air.
  
• THE "I JUST KNOW THERE'S A TURD STILL DANGLING THERE" SHIT
  
   You sit there patiently, waiting for the last cling-on to fall because if you wipe now, it's just going to smear all over the place.

hahaha what can i say....i have a warped sense of humour...

Bad habbits and sex in public? :O

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ferral things that people do when no one is watching....lets face it we all have bad habbits right.....RIGGGGGGGGGGGHTT...we all know it even if we choose not to admit it. we all have our quirks its what makes us unique. unfortunately some bad habbits are worse than others. Lets face it the list goes on and on...nail biting, hair twirling, collective oral idiocy (the fuckers who say all the wrong shit at all the wrong times), lip biting pen tapping ect ect the list goes on...so i thought it would be interesting to see what other bad habbits were out there....and here is a few that made me laugh..


1. this one is aimed at men (rubbing up against random women in public while they have an erection) ...now men thats not a fucking bad habbit thats a problem :/
2. Sex in public.... well as far as bad habbits go thats not a bad one ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ncs9_VEc2S0 how to have sex in public and not get caught haha
3. coming in third....silent gastrointestinal disturbance in a crowded room.....(farting) you just have to love it when someone goes all out in close proximity and you feel like you can fucking taste the thing...

anyway that brings me to this...

CONSIDER THIS: You can be shit faced, be shit out of luck or have shit for brains. With a little effort you can get your shit together, find a place for your shit or decide to shit or get off the pot. You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit and die. You can shit or go blind, have a shit fit or just shit your life away. People can be shit headed, shit brained, shit blinded, and shit over or shit on. Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola. There are lucky shits, dumb shits, crazy shits, and sweet shits. There is bullshit, and horse shit and chicken shit. You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan. You can take a shit, give a shit, or serve shit on a shingle. You can find yourself in deep shit, or be happier than a pig in shit. Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some days are just plain shitty. Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit. You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit. You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle. Sometimes you really need this shit and sometimes you don't want any shit at all. Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit. You swim in a lake of shit and come out smelling like a rose. You can be faster than shit, or slower than shit. Sometimes you'll find shit on a stick, sometimes you'll find shit everywhere, and then there are times you can't find shit at all. You can slice shit, spread shit, dunk shit or jump shit, and some people just can't cut the shit. When you stop to consider all the facts, SHIT is the basic building block of creation. This means the universe did not begin with a BIG BANG, but rather a BIG DUMP. Keep that in mind the next time you flush the toilet. And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else. hmmmmmm i like it haha..... one could even say it was written by a peice of shit?? ;) who knows... anyway ill keep it short and sweet for now because little lady is awake but tomoro ill rock your socks off ;)   caio bella.   hmmmm before i go...feel free to share your scewed experiences of sex in public....ill include a few of mine in tomoro's blog for amusement purposes ;) i have many..

Fuck me like you hate me and collective uniqueness ;)

Rarrrr............as you all know i havent done a new blog post in quite some time now....so i figured why not.................todays's as good a day as any..

so chrfistmas is coming up...i dont know about you but its cost me a fucking fortune...which is fine accept some fat red guy in a suit is going to get all my credit :/ i love that the kids beleive in santa but damn they must wonder why nan and grandad there dad and nan and poppie buy them shit but not mum....in fact they must think mums a real douch bag...while the god damn fat man gets the credit...you just gotta love it.

so whats new? hmmmmmm not much really...had my first run in with a ferral forrestfeild bitch in the parking lot at maccas. she was parked in the spot for waiting cars and wasnt waiting so i had to pull in pretty close to her to be where i needed to be...i wasnt even close to hitting her or anything like that..so she hangs out her car with another ferral bitch on the other side starts screaming at me 'ive got a baby in my car you stupid cunt' ect ect...some people must assuming im a fucking whimp....so i got out my car told her 'i have a fucking baby in my car to' so keep driving bitch...and she hits the acceleration and gets the fuck out of there....now that is classic forrestfeild....and that is why im moving back north lol i hate this hole...the park is awsome but other than that i wont miss any of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

new car....i got a new car since my last blog post.....and i fucking love it...its like...hmmm wearing a trainer bra compared to a push up bra.....its awsome i love my car...i even gave her a name...charil. dont ask me why charli but she is my beast......im far to prone to proving a point tho when a dickhead pulls up next to me at the lights....thus my car sticker 'YOU JUST GOT PASSED BY A GIRL'...... and jesus men hate that...yesterday i sat up the ass of a dick in a commodore..so he tapped the breaks...i over took him and he was pissed...put his hand up im sure he was going to flip me off until he saw i was a girl...then he sped up....a lot ;)

still getting hit on by lesbians....while its flattering....the only girl parts i have any interest in are my own ;) there is a lesbian woman that works at a petrol station i frequent...and she is always overtly over friendly...is fucking creepy.....maybe above my wings on my back i should get a new tattoo 'I LIKE COCK'.....ITS HARSH but it might get my point accross!!!

ive been feeling a bit impulsive lately...so i got my new peircing a couple of weeks ago. a 'medusa'....the annoying thing about peircings is people who dont know what one is say of nice...what the fuck is a medusa...so im going to put a breif list of definitions of basic peircings so i wont have to tell anyone again.....

eyebrow....if u dont know your an idiot
Nose...self explanatory
snake bites....the bottom of the lip which i have two
Labret...middle underneith the bottom lip
Tounge....derrrrrr
Beauty spots/ marilyn monroe...above the lip to the side..usually a small gem. i have two.
ears.....i only have 8 each ear but there are many varying styles
nipple....i want one but im a fraidy cat haha
vagina/clit...... erm your a braver fucking person than me if u go there....
prince albert.....a scary first date :P

so no more asking what is what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and no i dont have weird ones hidden anywhere ;)

so on to men.....we all know i get retarded dickheads cracking on to me all the time...my favourite is fucking indians and muslim men those who dont speak english and those who are older than my bloody dad....older is okay....but jesus! ive had a lot of dickheads crack onto me this year...but ive become quite adept at telling them politely to 'jog the fuck on'.....however...i do have a very 'hot' friend at the moment....makes things interesting dosent it.....lots of people are asking the question who the hell is he that ur interested for a change...but for now my lips are sealed ;)

thats pretty much it for me at the moment kiddies...of course there is always my birthday on monday but blah no plans lol....epic fail right? ;) im sure something will come up...maybe ill have a few drinks and we might get a very interesting new blog post..... todays was a catch up next time ill choose something firey or contraversial to chat about ;)

caio, bella.

Yummy mummies survial guide!

So....i often get asked...how do i do it...im a single mum raising 3 kids...and im supposedly a 'yummy mummy'....so.......i thought id do a post about how i do things and still be 'me' at the same time...because hey lets face it..some people have kids and *BAM* they totally change and not nessisarily for the better.....dont get me wrong..change is good...losing who you are when u become a mum...not so cool.

So im going to lay the hard word down....WOMEN...just because we become mums..does not mean all of a sudden..we stop wearnign makeup (if u wore it before), that u suddenly live in trackies and baggy tshirts....that brushing our hair is now optional...trust me its not....kids take over your life i get that...but u still have to have a life...even if u dont get out...which hey i hardly do...dosent mean all of a sudden i have no interests no hobbies no things i like anymore im still the same me...just a different kinda me!!! we dont have to change completely when we become parents. people often say to me...your a mum..u cant have peircings or tattoos or dress nicely or wear those shoes...of course i fucking can!!!!! only a judgemental fuck head would presume to sat such crap....seriously...my ex's mum used to say shit like that to me all the time...u dont want people to judge u at school and by doing so judge your kids you'll be a bad reflection on them.....reflect this *****...im lucky not to have had that problem..people always seem to look beyond the surface...accept indians...i see any traditional indians in public and there stare in the most rude fucking way anyway losing track.... u still have to be who u are...its key to surviving motherhood and not looking back and thinking fuck i used to be so different...be the same just in a different way!!.. (BTW IF U WORE TRACKIES HODDIES AND SHIT BEFORE KUDDOS TO U AND FEEL FREE TO KEEP DOING IT...I REALISE TRACKIES ARE COMFY SOMETIMES...I DONT OWN ANY SO IM NOT SAYING NEVER HAHA)...

next thing...dont let people tell u the way u raise you kids is not the right way...because if they do..immolitely tell them to shove it up there ass...the way you raise your kids is your business only and if it works for you and yours its right and all good..

if you dont want to get unsolicited advice make sure u dont give it either..singing a merry tune in your head while tuning out works a treat!!!

be honest...if your not coping GET SOME FUCKING HELP...raising kids isnt easy especially for us single parent folk but even for those out there with partners...take a break sometimes..it may seem the impossible dream but if u want it sometimes u have to work hard to make it happen...

If u got your hair done regullarly before having kids...dont stop! no one loves a skunk stripe..if u cant afford it? go the home job if you choose your colour right and keep it looking fresh its affordable and u will look a million bucks.

makeup...did u wear it before kids? then no exscuse...keep on wearing it...i often get the 'i dont have time'... yes YOU DO..im a single mum of an 8 week old baby a 3 year old and a 5 year old and if i can make 5 mins to put my makeup on every morning so can u...and it makes so much of a difference to how i feel about myself as a mum..making sure the hairs nice the makeups on im dressed reasonably all these things count to keeping it real!!!!

i often get asked how do i do it...this parts the serious part...people often cant beleive i cope alone with three kids...and hey its not always easy...but here is the trick.. ROUTINES..yes we have all heard the words before..and to be honest before i had my oldest in school i didnt have one at all..the kids were always in bed late sleeping in everything was chaos...so i have epic routines that are set in stone..my kids know whats going on i know whats going on..for example 4pm bubba has her bath 4.30pm the boys always know its bath time 5pm i start dinner always the same every day..8.30pm the boys go to bed same thing every day...and the second is time management which goes hand in hand with routine... if u dont manage your shit everything gets on top of u...some days i dont even get to sit down..its a flurry of go go go..but lifes like that sometimes...thats when a long bath a good book or anything for some u time...

you time...very important...i honestly dont get much and need more...try however possible to get some..also important to keeping it real as a mum...we are not our kids...they are our kids if that makes sense

i could go on about this stuff allllllll day....but at the end all i can say is i survive because i love my kids no matter how difficult they can be...i keep it real, i remember to be myself not just a mum..i wasnt always a mum im still a person. i have good routines, i dont listen to other people i do what works for me and my kids! so remember mummies...you can be a yummy mummy and survive without changing who u are completely

and remember SMILE, play with the kids...have a coffee or a tea...lifes not that bad even when it is..

xoxox
Caio bella..

Tattoo this and pretty bitches!

Soooooo firstly there may not be any blogs for a bot on account of moving house in a weeks time...blah to that...moving house sucks the big one...the packing and all the expenses...its like they force u to stay because its so damn expensive to get the hell out hahah ahh well

so on to the pretty bitches...there are soooooooo many of them out there arent there? sometimes im out and about and think shit.... and then i think kiss me ass haha...but then. i get told im hot or pretty a lot..i dont know what drugs people are taking because i dont see myself that way...but id like some.. And hey STILL SINGLE...so i cant be THAT hot or good looking lol..but im still fucking awsome lol... im not a stick i dont have a models body either...hey three kids spent a good deal of time stretching my shit out in various places :0...but u get that...i have to admit tho...sometimes i look around and see other women..obese or really hairy or just plain unfortunate looking with there men and husbands and think fuck...surely i look better than that and im still single WTF....god damn...but i think ive put myself in a position of men think i look good to play with but not to take home to mummy...so fuck off men like that....and a big KUDDOS...and also a massive FUCK YOU to these hot women out there that i wish i looked like some days haha but also hate....boo to u lol jealous much??

anyway for people following my blog this is what i look like currently...

so moving on to tattoo this...we all know i love my tattoos...i plan on getting three more this year...yikes i better move my ass...being that the year is fast dissolving and i was pregnant for half of it haha... so it got me thinking about weird tattoos that people get...but first my top three tattoo places to get tattood in perth australia north of the river mostly being thats where i am...would be
1. Tattoo this in greenwood
2. Marc pinto at primitive in perth city
3. Cherry bomb also in perth city

my advice when getting a tattoo...would be..

1. dont sweat it..relax and enjoy sure it hurts a bit but its not that bad if u cant handle pain perhaps rethink a tattoo.
2. dont use numbing cream. the effect is incredably temporary needs to be applied in advance and wont work the whole tattoo
3. be creative...dont go in and look through a book and choose some random generic sketch that 500 other people have..yes look take ideas and create...tattoos are art
4. choose your artist carefully...u would go get plastic surgury without shopping around?
5. look at the art on your tattoo artists skin..if u can see any be wary of there appreciation for the art.
6. dont get one on a whim, be well thought out first and remember ink is for life and very expensive to remove.
7. If you dont know what u want and have to search and search DONT GET A FUCKING TATTOO...

www.primitivebodypiercing.com/
www.hotfrog.com.au/.../Cherry-Bomb-Tattoo-and-Piercing-Parlour
and sorry couldnt find one for tattoo this...some of my best work came from there...

not for the faint hearted :?

what a fucking knob...

serosuly wtf???

okay little miss is stiring so ill finiish this one later...caio for now

luv bella..

and im on the hunt for some really awsome tattoo work to share with u all to

xox

I may be bad but im perfectly good...

Perfectly good? what is the definition of perfectly good? i guess that also depends on what your definition of bad is....ive been known to be called bad for many reasons in the past and im sure i will be called it many times in the future. Who really knows us in life? u can be sure so many people are judging us....but how do you define yourself? hmmmm well thats a tough one....how do i define myself? i dont take bullshit, but i occasionally have to give some...its the nature of the beast..you mess with the bull you get the horns...i like that phrase because its epically defining of my nature....your either friend or foe...there is no inbetween really...at least not to me. ive been called hard...one or twice....or fifty thousand times....and hard is apparently a bad thing...but a lot of being 'hard' comes from experience...life experience...so maybe it isnt a good thing...but having said that...i dont really care...i guess part in parcel of being hard...you have to be prepared in life to make the hard decisions stand up for that which u dont agree in fall fucking hard but be willing and able to pick your shit back up again afterwards...that takes a strong person...im a strong person...i have to say such a disposition isnt always for the best. i cant say i have a lot of friends...well hardly any real friends haha but i know how to pretect myself and the people i care about in whatever way possible....life is always my way of the fucking highway...which im told is not a good constitution to hold...but so be it...if you dont like me...your always free to fuck off or plank yourself onto the pointy end of a stick

byyyyyyy the way...planking is not for winners im afraid to say...its just another loser revolution of trying to do something fun that is basically fucked in the ass...seriosuly planking? someone one couldnt come up with anything better?? hmmmm......epic fucking fail im afraid!!!!

anyway moving on....i was thinking about the birth of sierra the other day.....it occurs to me that the hospital staff who were in delivery at various points must have thought i was a dark pessimistic bitch even tho i had a good altho slightly pissed off disposition due to there incompetence...anyway i have a large self done by black ink a needle and hand a tattoo and it says.... trust no one, test everything and under that..it says judge not and under that it says....love's the funeral of hearts.... pessimistic and negative much? surely so...but better to be informed than have your heart trampled time and time again... but i cant imagine what they must have though....im a myseterious leave things to the imagination type so i dont wear short skirts and the like...i prefur to be covered to some extent...so normally no one accept me see's that tattoo...its the first time anyone other than me or the kids has seen it!.... i get a lot of people asking me all the time if i plan to be getting more tattoos...the simple answer to that would be yes...i am planning to get more. i love my tattoos but of course they dont define me...but they are apart of me just like my peircings...some people get peircings and take them out regularly or take it out ot get a new one..not me if i get a peircing its here to stay permanently..the only one i seem to keep losing is the eyebrow and that because my body slowely rejects it....booo because eyebrow feels really uncomfy to get done!!!! i can be impulsive but at the same time i follow through on my decisions :) i hope my kids will be a little bit like that...but i hope they think some things through more than i did hahah

speaking of kids...there was something on the radio this morning about the octamumma and her 15 kids..and how she hates them and wishes she didnt have them anymore because its all to hard..and they had people ring in saying honestly if there were times they didnt want there kids or regretted having hem and how taboo that was...so i started thinking about it..have i ever regretted having my kids? and the answer is no...sometimes i regret that im unable to control them as well as id like and i often regret who there father is but ive never regretted having any of them especially little miss who has no dad....i always try to live my life with no regrets...bad decisions dont nessisarily mean u have to regret them as long as you learn something!.....but still its sad when people regret having there kids...but at the end of the day sometimes life gives u lemons.....lemonade...all that jazz....

anyway phyched to get my new tattoo in about three weeks im hoping.....my left lower arm will be complete and i plan to get my half sleeve fixed up and finnished off over the next few months...after all i have to be a bridesmaid next year...and ill make one hell of a rocking bridesmaid ;) tattoos, peircings and all...i did give my brother gf the opportunity to change her mind about having me...after all...photos are forever..but she said this is me its who i am and the tattoos and peircings dont bother her at all...nawww what a sweetie. she will make a great sister in law ftw.....

anyway enough with the random ranting for now....
caio bella..

Catch me up blog

Ahhh how nice it is to finally be able to use my laptop again...the last time i turned it on all kinds of shit came up about my net security expiring and trojam horses and worms and my computer being hacked and files being taken...essentially my shit was being virtually raped...i couldnt do a fucking thing on it...so i  took the battery out...now i have some awsome hardcore protection..it took all day to scan the computer and clean all the files....gah last time i let my internet security expire!!! lets hope some fucked peadophile hasnt stolen my photos of the kids!

So little miss aka Sierra..is six weeks old on sunday....still the apple of my eye...the most frequent comment i get about her is 'she looks like a little doll'...but she is a little cutie! she already has an epic wardrobe several pairs of shoes a few bits of bling and about 25 baby headbands...eeeek hard not to spoil her on account of her not having a dad...really going to be a tough one there...no dad and only one set of  grandparents where as the boys have there dad and 2 sets of grandparents...for anyone who missed the heads up all three have the same dad only the dick face wants nothing to do with his daughter in any way...when it comes back to bite him on the ass one day he will b sorry...for the many who have enquired...no he has still not seen her asked about her or wanted anything to do with her and thats the way he likes it...good thing im an epically awsome mummy and have no problem looking after her on my own as well as the boys..hasnt been as hard as i thought it would be! which brings me to my next point!!
BOOBS....
when you have a baby...sooooo many people ask you two question..one 'are they a good baby'...a reasonable question and two ...'are you breastfeeding' <<< now i have to say...i really hate this question...and perfect strangers seem to think they have the right to ask it....i really have to wonder HOW THE FUCK IS THAT ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS....i could be feeding her directly from the teat of a baby goat i keep tired up in the lounge and it wouldnt be anyones business...yes i am breastfeeding no its none of your business...close friends or mates yep i understand the question strangers...mind your fucking business...when women ask...still not there business but understandable
when men ask....EL FUCKING CREEPY!!!!!! seriously...especially when there looking at your chest as they ask the question....im not above giving a black eye to an overly creepy man!!!

moving on....

it would appear i am moving south of the river in a few weeks to good old forrestfeild...eeek i NEVER thought id move back sor...i always thought my kiddies would grow up north...but i refuse to move jacks school meaning im up for an epic commute in peak hour traffic every morning DOH!!!!!!!!!.....its definitly going to be a mass adjustment...if i cant deal with it ill have to move back this side of the river again....and packing...gah i hate packing im seriosuly throwing out a lot of my shit just to avoid having to pack it up...hahah sad but true...who needs that junk anyway? :P.... but i want to keep jack at that school because they have an awsome educational programme across the board there...however poor jack is struggling a bit....he is having issues with fine motor skills reading writing maths, hand dexterity pretty much across the board even tho he tries hard...he is a really bright kid!! i hate seeing him struggle...i put aside extra time to help him at home...the dreaded words adhd have been mentioned by his school...ive dreaded the day because he has always been a super full on kid and exhibits many of the signs from hyperactivity to extreme distractedness lack of being able to concentrate all go go go talks non stop and more...so i knew it could be coming :( even being a single mum of three its recomended i take him to a peadeatricion privately which is going to cost 300 an appointment....him wonder if i can have tha appointment and run away really fast? :P i wish but at least ill know. dont want him struggling with school.......ahhh all fun and games being a mum his dick head dad wont help pay for the appointments either insists his kid is all good and dosent need it stupid ****. ..if it cost 600 an appointment id find the money some how...my kids are my world! there awsome like i am ;)

life is never complete without dozen of strangers showing upat my door becuase the owner has advertised the property with out real estate back 3 weeks before i move out only to tell people go round at whatever time she will let you look in the house....like fuck i will...these people are strangers ready to rape me and steal my shit for all i know the owner did come around after all the hysteria and try to bribe me by bringing chocolates for the kids to let people come look...erm NOOOOOOO i wont even let him come in the house without good cause while im packing...blah...does keep shit interesting tho!!!

woooooooooooooo....have my tattoo all planned. i want to add bub as soon as possible..but i have to just get the expenses of moving out of the way first...so if anyone knows any good tattoo artist sor give me a shout...bub name Sierra, and a rose picture underneith (to symbolise her middle name) and i want kind of tribal leaves to wrap and intertwine the boys tattoo on the underside of my arm and her birth date...im adding the boys birthdates under there tatoo as well...excited missed being able to update my body art while i was pregnant :)

and that my friends is pretty much all the shit that has been going on in my life since ive been MIA...perhaps next time ill provide something a little more entertaining...that is after all my job...to entertain the masses ;)

Sierra Rose...Birth story

i cant gaurentee how much detail i will get to put in. this is the first time i have even been able to turn the laptop on since i had bub but here goes

i was due to be induced on friday the 13th at 6pm...i so did not want to be induced overnight but apparently it was my only option...so i left the kids with there grandad (there fuck face father wouldnt have them) and off i went with mum my birth partner...to king edward in subiaco. they kept me waiting outside the birth suite for an hour...joy then u  got in and got a room where i met the lovely midwife who unfortuntealy was only on until 9pm..the first of many midwives...so she took my vitals monitored bub and told me ward rounds started at 9pm so they wouldnt do anything until then and they would need to do an internal exam to asses to use the gel to induce or the folley's catheter., now i have to say internal exms for me hurt like fuck....seriously...especially as they found my cervix to be really far back and still had to reach it...bub head was up high...it was so fucking painful having the exam they offered me gas which i declined... so they decided that the folleys catheter to open my cervix was the way to go...so in comes a doc prepares all the stuff tells me stirrups are required...ick and tells me 'at least she has something interesting to look at while she is down there bahaha...she was reffuring the the tattoos on my legs lol...so they try to insert it fill it with saline and then tell me that unfortunately it wont even remotely stay in because while far back my cervix was extremely soft so they decided to use the gel instead...so in went the gel on my cervix..then i was on the monitoring machines for an hour to make sure bub stayed ok which  she did little trooper...midwives then changed to the next lot...so i mildly got some sleep on the extremely uncomfy labour bed while being woken 3 to 4 hourly for more monitoring..the gel stays in 6 to 8 hourse before being checked...so they checked and it was decided i needed another lot of gel...but they became busy and fucked me around as they did with my last induction and nothing got done...for hours...in which time different women examined me so more intensely painful internal exams...seriously i could have cried or abused them they were so painful...i was told to walk around the hospital block many times to try to decend bubs head but she would not engage..she really wanted to stay put... so eventually i was told they were to busy for me on sat afternoon (i went in friday night) and i was so pissed off (3rd lot of midwives) that i said to her in more polite terms it was fucked and that the same shit happened to me last time and i would rather have had my baby anywhere else if i had the chance..then went into the bathroom and bawled my eyes out i was freaking tired and over the haulted labour...so more walking occured...more contractions..only mild and lots of pressure which still didnt bring bubs head down...they examined me..painfully again only to find my cervix still soft and only slightly open still really far back so gel wasnt working either...so they were starting to talk c section which i DID NOT WANT as one of the options...or some pessary implant that may or may not work but was a last resort. then they decided they would try instead to break my waters...yet more hours passed because the midwife on would not do it unless there were doctors on call ready for an emergency c section because with bubs head not engaged there was a serious chance of cord prolaps (coming down into the vagina) if that happened they told me they had ten mins to get bub out of me....eeek that scared the shit out of me and stressed me out...i was still being monitiored and also every 4 hours since i was induced i was having penicillin which didnt knock out my cough which they suspected could be whooping cough it was so bad...still have it 6 weeks in total since i got it..anyway..the next midwife came on...much to my delight the very first one i had who only normally works two shifts a week was called in because it was so busy...she asked to have me again..she couldnt beleive i was still there with no reall progress on intermitent ppl causing me pain for no real gain so she took it apon herself to get shit done. she begged the male registar to break my waters to get things going it was my only chance that it worked to have a natural birth...5 mins later he came in more stirrups and told me he would have to leave his hand in a few mins to help drain the water to stop the cord coming out...at that point who cares id had that many hand in my bits i didnt give a shit...so he broke me waters which i have had done twice before but this time agony!! more offers of drugs which i declined...along the process on friday night i was given a bung for my drip so that was attatched to the sintocin (artifical contraction inducer) and she cranked that thing right up she said so we could get it moving a lot quicker...there was NO none NADDA break between the contractions it was intense and painful and she told me if i stood which was hard i had to be monitored non stop the rest of the labour it would help bub come down...i managed two hours standing before the pain became to much....by then i was crying which is how i deal with pain....mum was exhausted and slept through the agaony that i needed a partner for.... :/ i told the midwife once i started crying id reached my pain threshold and needed and epidural..of course the anesthatist was busy and held up so she asked if i wanted the on call one..i said yes not realising that at midnight she got him out of bed just for me..and the champ was there in ten mins flat scruffy bed hair and all ready to get it done... the midwife had turned off the drip because i was curled up in a ball of agony to ease the contractions while he put the epidural in...it was releif accept i could still feel contractions on one side....so it took a while to try to sort that...once the midwife did her best...and i had to lay on my side to not feel that side contractions she had someone watch me while she went for a tea break....even tho i couldnt feel my body waist down...i felt enormous pressure....and the midwife in there looked a bit concerned..as soon as the midwife came back i told her something was happening..it had only been about 5 hours since they broke my waters so she checked and little miss's head was right there straining to get out she was ready right then...and the monitor was showing she was a bit distressed so they needed to make it happen...so she dimmed the lights and then time to push...absolutely hard when u cant feel a damn thing..which i only just got my epidural sorted so no time to let it wear off at all...so with her guidences lots of pushing but bubs just needs to turn a bit....which she wasnt doing...then all of a sudden i had a massive coughing fit...and bubs head was nearly out so they told me to cough like that again...no problem like i could stop myself and she was out!!!!.....not only was she out...but no tears....she didnt tear me a new one at all....just a few 'labia grazes' requiring no treatement and she told me essentially your 'flap' is grazed and yes she totally said flap bahaha that was to funny at the time.... she was caked with vernix she looked like someone had rubbed her whole body in zinc it was crazy....so they layed her on my chest naked and she got to stay there an hour to feed and cuddle before they took her to weigh her... 7lb3oz, 2 weeks early and i was told she would weight 8lb plus minimum stupid people and there crappy ultrasounds. she was my perfect little angel. :) healthy happy pink and cuddly. from the time they broke my waters maybe 6 hours...so had they done that initially it would have saved two days of invasive pain and tiredness...after i had her and the epidural wore off i had a shower and was transfurred straight to the ward and i stayed until the next morning and came home. they had to wake mum at some point when i was ready to push so she could be there to watch that part....i think if it was not for that midwife things could have gone very very differently indeed im very greatful to her...despite all the bullshit before hand...it was a perfect birth intervention free...as in no vaccume or forceps extraction like the boys and no 20 people in the room in gumboots like jack....and NO C SECTION...in the end i was extremely tired but so greatful to her...ill never forget how fantastic she was :) and thats how little sierra rose came into our lives :) i still absolutel think king edward are fucking retared your just one in a chain of many to them...and if nessesary become unimportant...my birth experieces got worse with every child at that hospital....i wouldnt recomend them unless you have health issues that prevent you going elsewhere....im sure i left out bits and peices of the story but thats the gist of it !

caio bella

Osama bin ....team americano

So what new in the world? Osama bin laden is dead...now we couldnt half miss that one could we...technicolour on every fucking channel.....yup the fucker blew some big shit up and killed a lot of innocent kids...try explaining the concept of a terrorist to young kids....NIGHTMARE....its like a bad man that killed a lot of people so he has to be killed....'but mum..its bad to kill people', everyone in the world is a good boy he tells me...ahhh the innocence of youth yet to be corrupted by just how fucked up the world can be....in a way its nice....im sure down the track a little 9/11 will be taught as part of history just like everything else.... already the jokes are piling on from all over the world as for my parents what was there take on it???...that the mosques would probably be really full and lets look around and see which muslims look really really sad...hello new extremists hahah...what can i say...there not really wrong hey.. ive been hearing a lot of funny lyrical peices and skits about his death about how the lovely americans blew off his fucking head and things like its amazing what the americans can acheive when the playstation network goes down ,,,ahhh all i was thinking was how do i explain to my kids what a terrorist is in relation to osama bin laden.........oohhhhh ohhh then it came to me... TEAM FUCKING AMERICA...likely not yet aooropriate but epcially fucking funny.... ive studied the muslim religion and have a copy or the Quoran on my ipod...and the all beleive in jihad...which translates to holy war.....im ALL FOR religious tollerance but...as soon as they bring there issues to the country that i live in...well different story altogether. I dated a muslim guy for a while and mostly there pretty fucking fanatical about there religion even if they are not about there lifestyle choices...its pretty clear women stand a poor ass second to any men...shame really...i did however have to consider a burka while we were dating....and despite that tattoos and peircings i fucking rocked that shit out....the sad thing is he turned out to be a fuck nut ass hole...and i would have adopted the religion for him..which now looking back is fucking retarded anyway im going to put a pic of me up burka clad

id be an awsomely hot muslim yes??? shame im far to vain for that...good cover for a bad hair day tho :P if u do the research a lot of the religion involves extremist theories...now im all for religion each to there own and all that shit....however....extremists can kiss my ass and take that shit back to there home country...i live in the land of oz..we are a multicultural society, but i think we have over adapted for foreign policies and religions...we have prayer rooms at the airport but we cant smoke there we have special prayer rooms in school ...the list goes on......violence of any kind and religion just dont fucking gel to me...make a choice and be good or bad not both? :/   by the way i just have to put in my two cents now and say that i think osama was a toss nut...not willing to die for the cause....meh to him...some people say its bad he died and we should be sad about it because its still a human life....i say FUCK THAT....sorry but as anti killing as i may feel..if u got a death wish u got a death wish....

for some reason all i can think of in my head right now is a comedian where he has puppets and one is a terrorist.......and its by jeff denham i think...and he asks the terrorist how he dies...and well look it up its piss your pants worthy........ aiiiiiiii....poof....

moral of this blog....if your a bad man eventually you will meet a stick end.....

until next time

caio, bella

Religious Zelots can kiss my ass.... :0

So religion.....lots of people are religious...and there are oh so fucking many religions..and just as many atheists who beleive fuck all...then evolutionists who beleive we evolved from the monkey..and then creational evolutionists who try to combine religion and science...each to there own. Now i dont care who u are...asian, mediteranian, western, white black fat nthin ect and i dont really care what ur religion is....taoism, shinto, bhuddist, muslim, christian, catholic and the list goes on but one thing i hate?? religious fucking zealots... now i consider myself to have faith but not be religious...i was raised a born again christian...that shit didnt stick unfortunately...i had questions that the bible couldnt answer and the church couldnt answer and i couldnt reconcile that with my beleifs...so those beleifs crashed down hard..my lower teens i spent lots of times at youth groups and camps i was baptised the whole shebang..but some things are not for everyone...

I dont beleive in 'prosthletising" (for those not in the know...spreading the faith door knockers ect..).. i beleive in non prosthletising...if u beleive it good for u....if u try to jam your beleifs down my throat its something u will sorely regret....i dont buy into that...im a very tollerant person until u push your bullshit onto me...then ill have to bring you down..Now dont get me wrong...im not an impolite person unless im pushed...i get the mormons and the other bible bashers knocking on my door all the time...i smile like a good girl take there pamphlets and send them on there way...sometimes i even read them...but thats there good thing...even tho thery will never recruit me..the problem is...be to polite they push harder...until they drive out to your house just to see u...

Reminds me of another house that i lived in...two mormon guys from the us here as missonaries used to come on there bikes and knock on the door..so id get them talking they would talk and laugh and chat away until 20 mins goes by and i tell them ive got to get back to it lol...only for them to realise there message was not delivered bahahha now that is what i call a fucking success!! and this rinsed and repeated ohhh about 3 times until they presumably gave up or went home again hahhaa

anyway what got me thinking about the fucknuts?? and no i dont think all people are fuck buts just some....so someone on facebook one of the groups does a post..asking what qre u cooking up for easter this year....just a nice general post to which people respond...now remember this is a christian holiday...so i add my peace..and read thru to see this fuck nut posting all this shit about veganism and how we are being creul to animals and the bible says not to eat meat and carrying on like a real fucking shit head....so i told him no where in the bible does it say not to eat meat..kept it polite...so over night last night the mother fucker spams my inbox with 12 messages....claiming his shit about the bible an wanting debate...only problem is he is also quoting hare krishna and bhudda and polytheistic religions (multiple gods) where as the post was based on christianity which is monotheastic (one god) so i read his bull shit and immediately go grab my bible and want to chase him down and beat the living fuck out of him with it..as far as im concerned he is a hoppy fucking cultist...yeah cruelty to animals sucks ass an intended cruelty is not on...but dont bullshit when u dont know what ur talking about im the wrong fucking girl for that....if the hare krishnas walk past me in the city...id happily stick out my foot to see how many i could trip over....

now i have tollerance alright....ive tried out a few religions, christianity, wicca, the islam faith catacism dosent jive with me....spirituality ect...so hey im not a biggot....i have faith but im not religious...but im defintily not the bitch to shove your faith down my throat....if your in a cult you probably desurve all u get......

thats my religious fanatics irritation for the dad
thanks to the fuck nut who inspired it...
may you ingest an animal in desperation and die of guilt...

back to the big issues next time haha

caio, bella

Angel babies....and circum skin coat?

So on to topic two......today im tackling a big one....today is angel babies...or more to the point abortion! ITs a pretty scetchy kind of a topic to talk about...if u are a girl and u havent had an abortion you probably know someone who has had one...for either medical or personal reasons...dosent matter if your are pro choice or anti abortion....its kinda of a sad topic to talk about....if u google abortion 1st 2nd or god forbid 3rd trimester abortions ur going to come up with a fucked up arroay of images and tiny broken body parts....its not for the faint of heart....

So what is my stance on abortion? well i guess u can call me a pro choice anti abortionist? freaking retarded right......... but thats how it is....so what is pro choice anti abortionist? well i guess it means that personally ive researched the topic a lot and no fucking way at all would i have an abortion...if u use it as a method of birth control in a regular basis im sorry to say but ur probably a dirty whore...once is a mistake...more than once and u desurve a piano to graze you on the head with its pointy bits from a height...while i would never have an abortion im pro choice as in i think its everyones right to decide for themselves...i cant tell anyone what they should or shouldnt do with there body...some people cant handle a pregnancy, cant afford a baby, were raped, one night stand gone wrong single parent, no support, there are a million reasons for why people do what they do....

frankly if u ever do have one....dont research the methods first because the 'removal' methods range from poisoning the baby to disecting it internally and pulling it out to worse....its not pretty however u have to get it done...there a re pills you can take early on and a vast array of herbs to force yourself to miscarry....disturbing and also very dangerous and timing dependant...but desperation will make u do some things u never thought u would... but like i said ive never had one

When i fell pregnant with my first child i was 19 1/2 nevver once did it enter into my mind to get an abortion. it wasnt even on the cards. I was in a relationship and i was an adult...however the ex the kids dad got used to it in a few days where as his parents wanted to force me into an abortion because i was 'reuining there sons life' i was tainting his precious fucking future (by which was 5 years of failed uni andchanging courses which he fucked up himself long before i was pregnant)...anyway long story short....his parents never spoke to me until i found out at 38 weeks i was going to be induced the next day...when all of a sudden it was 'okay'...during the time i refused an abortion i coped much abuse from his mother and even his father not nice....

My second chance to have an abortion...the baby i am pregnant with now....which ill be having in 3 weeks time...im single...the father is the same as my other two kids..to cut a long story short he had the kids over night i came to pick them up from him, he wanted sex (he has a gf by the way), i said no...he asked all the time by the way i said no..i wanted to kids back he insisted so ..thats how baby #3 was conceived..he knew i could fall pregnant but insisted it would never happen...as fate has it..it did happen. He begged me to get an abortion..he has a gf, he offered money and overseas holidays and all kinds of shit...but its not in my blood..i gave it thought but deep down it was never going to happen...i knew id never do it....even my christian parents who are anti abortion wanted me to get an abortion because they hate him so much (for those who dont know what he did to me....with good fucking reason)...any way i made the tough call and decided to keep her...in 3 weeks my little princess will come into the world...the dad will have nothing at all to do with her...but life goes on! abortion for me would have been the easy way out....and some people would have and probably have done in the same situation but i dont ever regret not having an abortion...and i will totally understand anyone that makes the decsion not to have a baby....that will never be a decision i make for myself but i definitly wouldnt look down on anyone who did unless of course they did it all of the time.....

anyway just a thought after tackling my view on another issue....circumscision

now who however primitive origonally thought of the idea to chop of a small part of the penis???whereby exposing the head.....good thing it lives in pants or that head might get cold bahahaaa but then...it has a skin coat??.....oh dear...skin coat? god damn even that sounds wrong to me haha....

well thats it until the next issue...3 more to go before you'll be pissing yourselves to read my blog again...

caio, balla

Depression....Or deep self impressions..Life topic ono

so ive talked about boobies and breast implants condom icecream, penis splitting and an array of other sketchy junk...lets face it the more debacherous the more people want to read about it...it attracts them  and pulls them in. I think it calls to the slightly perverted fucker in all of us haha...sad but true right!! so i thought id tackle a few other things...the topic of this week is depression...

There are so so so many different types of depression its not funny...manic..where ur ready to slit your wrists one second and climb the walls the next, skitzophrenia....kinda like multiple personalitly disorder, post natal depression for some of the mum out there, social anxiety disorder, major or chronic depression, and basic depression which most of us have had at some point in time and probably will again... Most ppl hear the words depression and roll there eyes...which is kinda sad..because anyone who has ever suffered knows how it can fuck your shit right up...So where do i fit into this?... well i fit in in the majour depression or chronic depression and social phobia catagory....if u have never suffered...imagine waking up everyday...or wishing u didnt wake up and hating life, hating your surrounding the ppl that care about u...going through the motions...dark deep negativity, the lack of ability to see anything in a posotive light, and thinking every crack in the paving is the one where ur sanity is going to slip thru....the dawn of the darkest day..its bullshit..

of course...i didnt get there on my own...ive always been prone to depressive nature since i was a wee little shit...and yes i supposedly really was a little shit...and willfull...well i still am willfull haha..anyway as a youth i walked the line of self harm...the kind u cant see..like the kind under the bottom of the feet thats crippling to walk on and not visable to others...unlike when i went to tuart college and was in class with a girl that always wore jumpers...when she rolled up her sleeves u could see thousands of cuts all up her arms, not deeper than a surface scratch which to me unlike mine was a cry for attention that im not sure she ever got....been there self mutilation FEELS LIKE a great way to deal with your own pain...at least it was for me....but really...its more a great way to scar your body..thank god for many years post feet and skin regneration properties haha...

anyway most ppl who have never suffered dont understand just what or why people would get so depressed my parents never did altho they knew i suffered.....i didnt go on medication until a few years ago...and being in a relationship where i was made to feel inferior in a fucked up way and that no one would ever want me and the list goes on not surprising...until one day i couldnt get out of bed...so i was carted off to the docs and started medication...technically at the time it was for anxiety...which it helped a lot for...i wasnt diagnosed as majour depression until...the ex of 6 years cheated for much of the time we were together and then left me 2 weeks before our wedding to be with one of his whores...he ont say it was for her but there still together now a year and a half later...i have to say that fucked me over so up went the meds...then when i dated again after a few no go's i get a fuckwit singporian who uses me, hs another gf on the side, lies about trips to another country lies about his work and pretends to be his own neice conversing with me...rips me off for thousands of dollars then leve me $2000 in debt for  debt collector for 2 mobiles he convinced me to take out  under his name..it ws then i was dignosed with Majour depression..the kind where the doc hs to get special permission to perscribe those doses of meds and  a mental health care plan and counselling....ahhh life...in between that constant abuse nd problems with the kids dad, life stress, not knowing where money was coming from for bills ect and deep dark negativity i was pretty fucked up for  while...at the end of the day i pulled my shit together...for my kids, learnt how to best handle what money i do have, how to not be so negative, decided to putting dating on hiates for the forseeable future and it worked a fucking treat to get me on the up and up....im a much different person now. Of course...i made one mistake along the way to which i allowed the kids dad despite having a gf to get me to sleep with him so he'd give the kids back...to which i ended up pregnant..he has had nothing to do with it since day one...accept to offer imense bribes like large sums of money and over seas trips in the beginning to make me have an abortion...but bub is due in about three weeks...i made peace with yet another fucked situation...and im happy to have a baby girl join our family even if she wont have a dad...my family will love her like my boys....moral of the story...GOD THIS CHICK FUCKS UP A LOT??? hahha no not at all..that despite dark days and darker odds it is possible to come back from the darkness...but u have to want to come back its one of those....no one will help u if u cant help yourself things....which i did and now i help others..

so next time u hear about someone who has depression think twice...u dont know why or how or the who involved.....my story is much deeper than i explained but thats all im willing toshare with the masses

on a lighter note i find out when im going to be induced tomoro yay :P:P:P

i promise after tackling 4 more of the big issues ill give u something worthy of pissing your pants about!!

caio , bella

Condom icecream, penis splitting and fucked up body modifications...oh MY

The topic of the day is body modifications...some of the universally fucked up shit that people do to themselves.....from tattooing to peircing to vaginal reshaping to look like a star...seriously? yeh afraid so...but before i get into it...something i found to be a little humerous....now ive found a top ten list of fucked up ice cream falvours from around the world...i hope u find it as amusing as i did!!!

1. Horse meat....cant say id get off on that shit....barf
2. Hot ice cream....hmm
3. Condom ice cream...i shit u fucking not..here is an extract

This one was perhaps an unintentional creation from a Korean manufacturer who just wanted to sell a fun ice cream for kids to suck on. Turns out that the swollen, latex coated thing which comes out of the cute turtle wrapper might not be the right shape for a kid. And, for those of you who are curious, the flavor is regular chocolate

4. Squid ink....pass

5.Sex pistol.....u guessed it....ice cream with ....VIAGRA.....jesus wouldnt want to consume that by mistake

6. Foie gras???

7. Garlic...eww

8. Blue cheese...worse

9. Amonia nastiness....thats right...made from black liquorice and amonia...not popular for its nauseateing burning properties

10. Pit Viper....yes its made from viper snakes....i have no words for that!!!

Okay so now that ive relived that list on to body modifications

Men and womens circumscision...pretty standard...not my cup of tea...hey i like a happy helmet like the best of them...but i think women being done is fucking crewl and inhumane...for that reason i didnt have my boys done in the interest of fairness...

Body peircings....they come in all shapes and sizes...some fucked up some not so much...i have several myself...eye brow tounge, nose , labrets, tounge, two beauty spots two in the bottom lip and 8 each ear.....u can shove vaginal and womens nipple peircing up ur ass hole...not my cup of tea...but peircings are not all like mine..some get pretty fucked up...im not a fan of flesh tunnels at the best of times...just dont like them...but i have seen nasal flesh tunnels and a labret flesh tunnel u could see the fucking teeth it was retch worthy...soome people take there shit to far...just because u can grab it u  can peirce it...really dosent mean u should hey!!! there also comes a point where they look fucking retarded because there is mor metal than skin...im proud to say while i have a few they are all really nice looking feminine and compared to some pretty discreet...but each to there own...even if i do need sun glasses just to look at u..

tattoos, once again i have many...my personal oppinion is there peices of history and art....anyone who ever tells me they want a tattoo and they dont know what to get or need to look from a book to pick something generic really dosent desurve to have one and i truely mean that...ink is designed to be for life...thats why the removal process is so painful...so if it means shit all to you print it out and practise your colouring in dont put it on your skin!!!

Branding with a hot iron....well ive dabbled in this one before...not as lovely as it seems...it is essentialy making a stencil...extreme heating said stencil and burning the top layer of flesh off....mmm crispy...not for the faint hearted!

Subdermal implants.....body jewellery inserted under the top layer of skin...no thanks!! altho id do a dermal implant...body jewellery above the skin anchored under the skin

earlobe stretching...not a fan also called a flesh tunnel...most of u will know what this is already

Tounge splitting.....now that is a place i wont go i dont want a tounge like a snake aqnd come near me with a scalpel and ill stab u in the face with it....seriously...no go for me

Tooth filing....usually done to point the teeth to give u a gob like a vampire...fucked up? yup sure is...so why not...not for me tho

Tight lacing....to make ur waste incredably small proportions...fuck that shit...if u look up photos these women look like if they sneezed they would literally snap there body in half...not to mention i dont think it looks beautiful i think it looks fucking retarded...and if anyone i know ever did this id tell them so

Anal stretching...where ass plugs are inserted to stretch the anus for pleasure reasons...im cringing writing this.....some people need to be shot

Skin cut tattoos.....litterally using a sharp instrument to scrape off the skin in big ribbons, extremely bloody similar to scarification which leave a scar after the skin is cut. i have also dabbled in this one...looks ok for a while but is only topical...it dose eventually heal itself

yes that is indeed my leg and it is almost completely gone now say 11 months later?

extra occular implant...having something inserted onto your eyeball...eeek

cornea tattooing...injecting ink into the white of the eyes...usually done to blind people for asthetics (looks)  or crazy fucked up pain junkies!

Peirced glasses ...yes once again i shit you not....screws are peirced directly into the side of the nose...and the glasses screw on to those and are help in place looks psycho nothing goes over the bridge of the nose and nothing over the ears...no one had better knock u with those bad boys on or ud be well and truely fucked...innovative idea tho hey

last of all......PENIS SPLITTING>....where the dick is cut right down the middle lengthways...fucking hell...i nearly vomited just looking at a pcture of this...so if u want one ur on your own..what kind of many would do that shit...how would u piss??...sex well i cant even imagine..WHY just WHY...the tounge i dont like but understand..you dick FUCK NO!!!!!

thats about as many body mods as i can take looking at for one day.....hope u enjoyed the show
next blog is my oppinion of 5 majour issues...one day at a  time
take care
caio bella

Designer vagina's and body modifications

Sick kids are never very fun especially when u are worried about them..but its a fact of life...for my youngest one its pretty much the only time ill ever get affection......its almost tempting to put him right under the nose of anyone that sneezes just so he gets sick and i get a hug...of course id never do this because...well being a single mum id be the one up with him all night and being deprived of sleep for to long is one of the worst fucking things. After having kids im pretty sure i suffered insomnia for the first 4 years....whats that like? well if i ever sleep the night through ill be sure to let you know....the last good nights sleep i had was the 6th of january 2006...eeek so its no wonder i come out with some retarded blogs...my brain cant function properly these days...... but on the subect of kids...well bub due in a few weeks has already found her ways to freak the shit out of her brothers...i know they think there is a baby in there...but its not really a baby until the 'doctor take it out'... i told the boys id probably be sore for a little while after the baby comes out...now jack (5) tells me...u wont be mum the doctors will be careful...he dosent realise that after pushing him out his brother out and soon his sister poor mummys vagina will never be the same again...maybe one day ill be in line for a 'DESIGNER VAGINA'.....yes u heard me also known as libiaplasty...yes this shit really does exsist i swear...ill have the best looking junk in my pants even if i cant ever show it off...well not in publinc and not without it being contrued as pornographic or offensive...or depending where i am...pervertedly okay......which makes me think a lot about body modifications..... but firstly ive gone off track..what did the baby do to freak the kids out:?...she kicked my phone off of my stomache while i was sitting on the couch...its one senario for young kids to know there is a baby in there...but when they see evidence or feel it its freaks them the fuck out like some kind of alien encounter....think how i feel kiddies....that is happening to me from the inside out haha...took me 7 months for him to feel the baby move and 2 seconds to decide never to try and let them feel again!!!!

anyway back to designer vaginas...wouldnt it be great ladies to have kids...and still have the number one looking fanny afterwards???...lets face is some things just dont spring back into shape after a baby...especially not the babies i have haha....i mean lets face it...if ur unlucky which...90% of women in child birth are...cute little bub will tear u a new asshole...new baby new asshole...alright alright to far i know..but no less true...some places u just SHOULD NOT HAVE TO GET STITCHED EVER....so what else do women get done...the infamous boob job. u get men carry on about how they feel...how do they feel? i have no fricken idea...but if the opportunity arose in a non perverted non fettish no lesbian kinda way id give on a squeeze just to see lol...would i get one? hmmm well having natural boobs of epic proportions, always wearing good bras to get a good psuh up and cleavage...id have to say it would be low on my list...maybe a breast lift one day...nothing makes me feel more retchworthy than seeing older women who's  boobs are so fucking saggy...u could seriously heft them over the shoulder...it freaks me out a bit....actually a lot. its like my dad and his hating to touch cotton wool balls...i want to scratch my eyes out when i see saggy tits....not sure why but thats the way it is. The tummy tuck...now theres one id pay for if i ever had the money...nothing like the lovely war wounds that most of us encounter after child birth...especially when u become single afterchild birth...in no way do u ever want to present ur cottage cheese mid section to a man ever again...and lets face it u cant spend your whole like having sex with clothes on...sometimes it adds mystery but eventually it would become suss...and to the bitches who get no stretch marks and the body bounces right back 'fuck you'...seriously 'fuck....YOUUUUUUUUUUUU'....i would love to be you....jealousy is a curse what can i say....so is patience which anyone who knows me is a virtue i have never ever possesed...better note that one down kids....

what virtues do i posses exactly?....well.....im not patient...im usually kind unless i have reason to be, im openminded, but there is such a thing as to open minded, im honest which can be a virtue and can be a pain in the ass.....im not particularly sentimental nor am i particularly girly but i am pretty feminine...so a bit confusing there....im clean but im not overly neat....if u want neat...hire a maid...

there is more to add here...but my little guy is sick so ill save it for another day...
caio, bella

what i look for in men...and does my penis look good in this?

what a crappy day....if i wanted a wet ass or water down my tits id...wait no there is never a time i want either of those things...but life happens sometimes hey..better get used to it with a baby due in a  few short weeks....today i was priveledged...took the little guy who is three on monday shopping with me...he looked bad ass he was wearing prefaded skinny leg jeans, the right amount of shitrt showing from under his cool iron man jacket hood up and fingerless gloves with skeletons for a 3 year old thats bad ass..then he made me buy him a little pink umbrella stroller to push his baby doll around in...cute but fail!!!...next person to ask me when im due for bub...im going to say 'any second now'...and 'i hope u have good contents insurance because that flooring looks corrosive to amniotic fluids which i could leak all over ur loor at any second'....its the one question ppl love to ask..complete strangers that u get epically sick of answering..or maybe i should laugh and tell them im not pregnant and watch the look of confusion and horror pass there faces??

anyway...someone saw some photos of me online and contacted me and told me im 'so photogenic' ...bullshit *cough cough*..and that i should get some professional photos taken because id have quite a following...now if that bullshit dosent sound like th most trite...i wanna see u naked...im a pervert comment ive ever heard i dont know what is...but it did get me thinking about what type of guys i like. Now there are certain types of guys i will never go for...these genrally include....short men..im only five foot ten or slightly under...u'd be surprised how many men dont make the cut because of that..ive dated a shorter guy before and i felt like the fucking man..wasnt cool. Men who are younger than me...essentially they will never have a chance..the first thing that crosses me mind is..jesus were u just hitting puberty when i had my first kid or what? not my thing...im not the hugest an of the blonde men either...ive never dated a blonde but not to say i never will on that one...and uber skinny men...sorry but really a fucking turn off...seriously if im worried i may snap u from the slightest touch..im not the most gentle person...go eat a fucking hamburger...please.. so that still leave the taller men the older than me men *(and no grandpa..not that old), the men who work and dark haired would be awsome hahah... i guess i have high standards but why the fuck not..its me that will have to look at them every day..im not asking for muscles or a six pack..just an awsome sense of humour who knows what the air up here is like...no virtically challenged individuals...ive dated accross the spectrum, white, aussie, english, indian, singaporian ect...so u know im not a racist...however i also dont date men that i cant understand what the fuck there saying...that shit ust dosent work for me...if your english isnt good boys dont even bother...other than that fair game...i have also dated accross the personality spectrum...introvert, extroverted...perverted...thats right..sexual addictions..but to me unfortunately... can be an interesting life...i tend to like people that like me dont conform to the supposed norm just for the sake of conformity...for those who do eat shit i hope u cry urself to sleep every night regretting ur pathertic wasted boring lives.....seriously...no not really ur choice..ull regret it later. maybe one day i find a normal one haha....one that i can bring home to the folks without causing coronary events...or heart farts...(u heard it here first heart farts thats right...)

anyway on to the penis debate....men seem to care so much about this appendage attatched around the groin type region....now do u hear women carrying on about the size shape, colour public dispersity of the vagina??? no i think not...so men why do u get away with it????...i guess because lets face it...most women can appreciate a good pensis...now ladies..unless u are relatively young, religious or just fucking unlucky you have probably seen...one two or a few...they come in all shapes and sizes...and ive seen lots of variation...large and thick, large and skinny little a noodle...small and thick small and thin...cirucmscised uncircumsised....dark skinned...white ect ect...does it really make much difference to us as ladies?? the debate about that one rages on im afraid...now what chick dosent like a good sized appendage? to big...not interested and there is such a thing..but good sized and lack of knowing how to use it...u will fail the ladies every time...to be honest the whole...thin penis...really dosent do it for me....not at all dosent matter how long it is....in the words on an awsome chick i know 'u want to have a meaty cock'.....now ive also experienced small and thin....and to be honest..it gives new definition to 'is it in yet'........its a faux pa to have had sex but not be sure u had it because u didnt feel it...not stereotyping...but my experiences with darker skinned men...the rumours are NOT true..... ive had a lot less sexual partners than some...but ive seen enough to know enough....boys sometimes it does matter...

before i end the blog that could make some men cry...im going to touch on grooming...
now men like women to be shaved or waxed......the maority of men...to some men its not cool any way...while men carry on about the state of our good they let there man areas become so out of control ud be shocked to find there actually is a penis in there somewhere...its a fucking horrid double standard....ladies i say if u have a man who is NOT willing to groom...if u do..u grow that shit back in protest....i dont think many women would want a man to wax...but boys....a bit of grooming never hurt anyone think about it......

caio, bella